Parenting and Perception: Challenging the Norms

Dear Readers,

Today, I want to share a profound conversation I had with my daughter. She brought up a powerful point about how society often views parenting—and the double standards that come with it.

She asked why single fathers are frequently praised simply for showing up, while single mothers—who carry the weight of parenting day in and day out—are seen as just fulfilling their “duty.” Why is a father celebrated for doing what he’s supposed to do, while a mother rarely receives the same recognition?

This isn’t to take anything away from fathers. In fact, I’m one of those people who often celebrate dads for staying. In my culture, single moms dominate and absent fathers are unfortunately the norm. So, when I see a dad stepping up and being present, it’s something I appreciate deeply. Still, it’s worth asking why the bar is set differently for mothers and fathers in parenting.

My daughter also pointed out how some fathers are seen as “babysitting” their own children, as if they’re doing the mother a favor, instead of sharing equal responsibility. Parenting is not about giving “mom a break.” It’s about showing up as an equal partner.

And what about fathers who come back into their children’s lives after years of absence? Society often expects the child—especially teenagers—to immediately welcome them. But if the child struggles with this or acts out, they’re labeled rebellious or disrespectful. Is it truly disrespect, or is it unprocessed hurt from years of abandonment? It’s worth reflecting on where the responsibility lies in those situations.

These conversations remind me of how deeply ingrained societal expectations are and how they impact families. It’s not about diminishing fathers; it’s about creating balance. Mothers deserve acknowledgment for their sacrifices, love, and relentless effort. And fathers, too, deserve recognition—not for stepping in occasionally, but for embracing the role fully and consistently.

To all the mothers carrying the load, I see you. To the fathers showing up and being present in their children’s lives, I see you too. Let’s continue to challenge these norms and work toward a parenting culture rooted in mutual respect, shared responsibility, and love.

With reflection and hope,

Just Catrina