Standing Up for Yourself: Boundaries Are an Act of Self-Care

Dear readers,

I came across a TikTok recently that really made me reflect. In it, a woman calmly tried to stand her ground against a passenger who was kicking the back of her seat on a plane. Instead of the aggressor being called out, it was her who ended up being threatened with removal from the flight. She remained composed, but somehow, she still became the person who seemed to be punished for simply asserting herself.

It hit me hard because I’ve been in situations where I’ve stood up for myself, set boundaries, and yet ended up feeling like the bad guy. We’re often taught to be kind and patient, to let things slide. But when does that kindness turn into letting ourselves be walked over? When does our patience get taken for granted?

Setting boundaries shouldn’t feel like an offense. And yet, so many of us find ourselves punished for it, made to feel guilty for finally putting ourselves first. Whether in personal relationships, at work, or in everyday life, it can be exhausting to constantly keep our peace while others bulldoze over it.

Here’s the thing: Boundaries are not a problem. Respecting them is. The real issue comes when we set limits, and instead of understanding, others push back. It’s hard not to feel like we’re being unreasonable or difficult, but that’s just the thing — we’re not. We’re simply demanding the respect we deserve.

When we don’t set boundaries, we end up losing a piece of ourselves. We allow others to take more than we’re comfortable with, and that, over time, can be draining. But when we do set boundaries — when we say no or express our needs — it’s almost like we’re suddenly the ones being labeled as difficult, demanding, or too much. That’s something I think a lot of people struggle with, especially women. We’re often expected to be “easygoing” and “go with the flow,” but what happens when that expectation starts to take a toll on us?

One thing I never forget that a therapist once told me is that “No is a complete sentence.” For someone who’s been a pushover in the past, that was a revelation. I don’t have to justify myself. I don’t have to explain myself. A simple “no” is enough. I’m learning that, and every time I stand my ground, it gets easier.

It’s not wrong to want to protect your space, your peace, and your energy. In fact, it’s necessary. Sometimes, it takes stepping into your power and realizing that you deserve to be treated with the same respect you give others. Boundaries don’t make you a bad person. They make you a person who values themselves.

So next time you find yourself in a position where you need to speak up, don’t let the fear of being seen as “difficult” or “too much” hold you back. Setting boundaries is about protecting yourself. And trust me, you are worth that protection.

We all deserve the space to grow, to be ourselves, and to feel safe and respected. So, let’s take back that control and remember that setting boundaries is not a battle — it’s an act of self-care.

With love and strength,

Just Catrina